How to write a Britain First post

To write a Britain First, or any other far right post to get clicks, all you need to do is follow this simple guide.

First you need something to be disgusted about. Normally this will be Muslims (don’t worry of you can’t spell it just take a stab). It can be immigrants if you’re more UKIP or Jews if your more into loving Hitler. This guide still applies

First you need an Image to show your love of this country. Therefore you need a picture of a soldier. Just do a Google image search for soldier. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a British one as long as it’s white, this doesn’t count if your doing something for your “private” Facebook page.

Something like this:

A Slovakian army soldier - Just don't worry about that as nobody will notice
A Slovakian army soldier – Just don’t worry about that as nobody will notice

Don’t worry about copyright as that’s for everyone else to worry about. The above image is  Public Domain so copyright is okay!

Next, we need to show how patriotic we are. We can do that by selecting one of the below:

  • A Syrian slaughtering a dragon, sorry, the patron saint of this country. This has replaced Britannia as she’s a woman!
  • A Union Flag. Don’t worry if it’s not the correct way up, it’s even better if you can find it fluttering
  • Flag of Saint George

You may not be able to find one of St George, just don;t worry and go back to using the Union flag or the flag of St George

Something like this:

st-george-cross-england-grunge-flag Great-Britain-Flag-great-britain-13511748-1920-1200

We can now start up photoshop and start putting our new image together. Just remember to design with the fervour of a keyboard warrior.  We’ll use the Union Flag one over the Cross

Step 1Before you have to think about writing about what is disgusting, and why it is down to your “bogeyman”.  Be that a Muslim, Immigrant, Jew or Other.  We have to add the usual “Share this” call to action

Now the above has been transformed into the below:

Step 3Now we have to think about what to write. You may need some help so ask someone you know.

This may take some time so this may help

  • Soldier being refused service somewhere.  It doesn’t matter if it never happened as it’s on the Interweb and nobody can find you hiding behind your keyboard
  • Soldier being injured and gets less money than an immigrant who gets 500 billion a week and live in a 5,000 room mansion
  • Some non white, Christian, going around raping children [ It seems to be fine if you’re white to go around doing things like this – ed ]

When you’ve finished with your rant, add it to the image.  Just remember to use a good font that everyone will trust.  Comic Sans would be the perfect choice!

Step 3The only thing that is now missing is the logo of your organisation.  You can throw them all over the gap below the story.

Below is the finished work

Step 4