Regular readers of this blog will be aware that I have a hobby. That of trying to take over the world. If that won’t work, just being able to get something to eat. That predator-prey thing.
I have tried the services of the best known supplier to the world of Evil. ACME Inc. Possibly not the best company I have used but they do a great success or return policy. The only way that the genius on a budget can keep up with technology. It has the habit of blowing up in your face. Causes a ton of singed fur and a galactic sized headache. Then it’s back to the catalogue to see what you can put together to help your plan.
If the problems with that supplier carries on, I may have to change tack & get a job with a well known fast food company. You know the one but I’mmmm not mentioning it for legal reasons…
That should give e sometime off so I can get my head re-set. That should give enough time to come up with the ultimate plan to dominate the world. It may even involve fast food. It seems that could be the way forward. It’ll save on expensive rockets or experimental “go faster pills“. It may have side effects for the rest of the population but as long as it doesn’t affect me then I’m fine with that.
Now with my army of brainwashed minions, what would be the next stage? Build that evil base on a Pacific island? Possibly not the best location for your plans. It’s a bit far from major land masses to cause chaos if your demands aren’t met. It does give the advantage of being a long way away from the countries that you are threatening to destroy. As such, it makes it easy to notice them trying to sneak in and destroy your base of operations.
Getting hold of the required protection could be an issue. It’s not as easy as going down to your local K-Mart and looking for the guided missile isle. That can be easily solved by shopping around. North Korea is a good place to start as Iran, Iraq and Libya have had revolutions and their despots have been overthrown. Syria is another option but even I won’t work with that sort of maniacal dictator.
It seems that North Korea could work. They seem to have the same idea that I have but without the external drive. Yes they threaten to world with something but then keep backing down. I don’t intend to back down. They need the hard currency and I have the funds to spare. I’ll just pay them in Dollars so they can then feel the pain of what happens when a world currency collapses when I point my missiles at America.
If you’ve made it this far, you should have all the funds you need to complete your plans.
The hardest step is the last one. Threatening the world with your main weapon. I would keep it simple. Large rockets are good. Earthquake generator not as much. The latter has limitations and cannot easily be targeted as it needs a fault line to work effectively. It could work on America but then it would just put California into the Pacific Ocean. Not that many people would complain. It may even improve the morals of that country.
When your demand has been made you will need your army of Fast Food Spies to get to work and monitor everything that is happening so you can be proactive and not reactive to any threat that may occur. Keep your base minions well trained as otherwise you may have issues when the actual attack happens. You know it will. It’s just a matter of when. A massive display of force and destruction of any planned invasion should give the message that you mean business.
The other thing that you will need to consider is. What currency should I transfer my wealth into. Swiss Francs should be the best. Who would think of destroying that country. You have to be a totally deranged evil genius to even think that. Stay away from the money men. You will need it before you start your own, single world, currency. Keep it simple. Don;t base it on anything else. Make the money hexagonal and huge. Then make it illegal to fold the money – on pain of pain. It’ll just be funny to see. Why can’t you have some fun with your subjects.